Tuesday, August 5, 2008

wallet taking douchebag


so my Blogmate Minchy got her wallet taken last night by someone who ran to mickey-D's and to Buddys and ran up 89 dollars worth of charges on her card..and she is without a licence now...general suckness..


but she posted that she was hoping something horrid was gonna happen to this miscreant...


hmmm...


ok..after D-Ball...that is his street name..short for "douche-Ball" looked down and took your wallet and helped himself to the other ripe purse fruits from the other bags on the floor..he ran off to McDonald's to get him self a greasy double quarter pounder and milkshake..then popped over to Buddys and loaded up on shitty beer, pork rinds and blunt wraps....


then he was off to go pick up his friend and drink and smoke the late night hours away....he rolled up to his friends house and picked him and his big Pit Bull ..his friend never leaves the house without his dog Roxy....


they were on their way to the crib listening to someones stolen iPod and making fun of the Smiths..Roxy was sniffing around the bag from buddys and started to eat the blunt wraps and pork rinds ..no one noticed this at the time..


it was then that red and blue lights flashed from behind, the police siren chirped and they were pulled to the side of the road..


a tense moment of fear for our 2 shitty thieves as the officer swaggered up to the window..it was then that Roxy made a great heaving sound, and launched vomit from the back seat spraying all in sticky dog gack..as the officer tapped on the window D-Ball was fumbling around to turn the music down..his hands still greasy from cheeseburger could not work the dial and he menu selected "Fuck the Police" by NWA...as we know every hipster ipod has this on it..you know..for irony..


at this point D_Ball shouted at his friend about the dog..."imma kill this Motherfucker"...


Officer Steve at this point raised his gun...


continue as needed...



sorry you lost your stuff cutie...if you need any help let me know...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Kiddie Pools and the three day bender...

"Runch"..

this is of course the txt i get from Gracie on Friday afternoon....a quick call to Izzy and we were on our way to Ru Sans..this would seem to be a normal start to a normal afternoon of sushi and conversation..

but not to those who know how to steer the FailBoat out of the safe harbors and into the drunken maelstrom...

Gracie was hungover from the night before, so we did the only thing we know to cure that...we all kept ordering Sake till we were hammered..then wandered into Target for slip and slides and then headed over to Whitneys house where we destroyed ourselves bouncing around like idiots in a pool made for kids..

oh, then i went to work...

Fast Forward to the hurricane on Saturday..power goes out all along parts of the city, MJQ and the Local were out till 1:45am...no power, no cold beer, no sound system, no Nightclub....

OMG...Saturday night off?!?!? Schweet!!..('cept that whole not making money part)

Drinking, Drinking, running around, umm..its kinda hazy..i think i tried to write that night but could not work a keyboard...

<>...need to head to work and be productive, will update this mess laters...