wallet taking douchebag

so my Blogmate Minchy got her wallet taken last night by someone who ran to mickey-D's and to Buddys and ran up 89 dollars worth of charges on her card..and she is without a licence now...general suckness..

but she posted that she was hoping something horrid was gonna happen to this miscreant...

hmmm...

ok..after D-Ball...that is his street name..short for "douche-Ball" looked down and took your wallet and helped himself to the other ripe purse fruits from the other bags on the floor..he ran off to McDonald's to get him self a greasy double quarter pounder and milkshake..then popped over to Buddys and loaded up on shitty beer, pork rinds and blunt wraps....

then he was off to go pick up his friend and drink and smoke the late night hours away....he rolled up to his friends house and picked him and his big Pit Bull ..his friend never leaves the house without his dog Roxy....

they were on their way to the crib listening to someones stolen iPod and making fun of the Smiths..Roxy was sniffing around the bag from buddys and started to eat the blunt wraps and pork rinds ..no one noticed this at the time..

it was then that red and blue lights flashed from behind, the police siren chirped and they were pulled to the side of the road..

a tense moment of fear for our 2 shitty thieves as the officer swaggered up to the window..it was then that Roxy made a great heaving sound, and launched vomit from the back seat spraying all in sticky dog gack..as the officer tapped on the window D-Ball was fumbling around to turn the music down..his hands still greasy from cheeseburger could not work the dial and he menu selected "Fuck the Police" by NWA...as we know every hipster ipod has this on it..you know..for irony..

at this point D_Ball shouted at his friend about the dog..."imma kill this Motherfucker"...

Officer Steve at this point raised his gun...

continue as needed...

sorry you lost your stuff cutie...if you need any help let me know...

Kiddie Pools and the three day bender...

"Runch"..

this is of course the txt i get from Gracie on Friday afternoon....a quick call to Izzy and we were on our way to Ru Sans..this would seem to be a normal start to a normal afternoon of sushi and conversation..

but not to those who know how to steer the FailBoat out of the safe harbors and into the drunken maelstrom...

Gracie was hungover from the night before, so we did the only thing we know to cure that...we all kept ordering Sake till we were hammered..then wandered into Target for slip and slides and then headed over to Whitneys house where we destroyed ourselves bouncing around like idiots in a pool made for kids..

oh, then i went to work...

Fast Forward to the hurricane on Saturday..power goes out all along parts of the city, MJQ and the Local were out till 1:45am...no power, no cold beer, no sound system, no Nightclub....

OMG...Saturday night off?!?!? Schweet!!..('cept that whole not making money part)

Drinking, Drinking, running around, umm..its kinda hazy..i think i tried to write that night but could not work a keyboard...

<>...need to head to work and be productive, will update this mess laters...

rules are for breaking..

ok..it took only a day, but i'm already breaking the two simple rules i set for this here bloggy blog..but it is not without a reason...

i did not foresee the situation of being an enbedded journalist...

Sometimes while on the front lines of Drunken mayhem, we find ourselves in situations that preclude us being able to pony up to a keyboard and write drunken ramblings..one such ocasion was last night/this morning..

was out and about in search of beer and dancing when a fellow drunken comrade found me at a spot in east Atlanta..she was pretty sauced and was in no shape to drive..

what to do now?...hoist her off on her friend and hope they get home?..call her a cab?..tick tock tick tock..."LAST CALL"...damn it..out of time...must make a descision...

"okay, give me your keys"..i'll take ya home and drive you back in the morning...

then the babysitting..

watching out for a drunken comrade is like getting a cat in the tub..and you have to walk the line between nudging them in the direction you want them to go, and just being an asshole and being rude about it...

then comes the spilling things, the falling, and the looking for lost items..but its all karma, as the Captan of teh Failboat i have been the one carried around...and i aint light....so what comes around goes around i guess..

but this is when i realized the snag in my simple rules layout...how do you update a blog about your night and the drunk girl in your care...while she is in bed right behind you?...or what if i find myself out and about and unable to get to a computer..?



Rule 3... if unable to post for reasons related to drunken mayhem, or in unfamiliar territory..passed out, naked, or any combination of these...then rules 1 and 2 are suspended pending a recap post at the first earliest oppertunity..



ok..and in unrelated news...i got the pimpest belated birthday present ever..Ben got me a bobble-head doll of me..it even plays sounds and everything..its like an artifact magic item...totaly EPIC WIN!!

and..i was right in the the path of a high speed chase in east atlanta this morning..it was like being in LA..without the shady studio execs and out of work actors..

ok..back to work for me..


CotFB

Rules and whatnot

So I have been inspired by the Minch to start my own Blog,.. the intent of this will be to put my drunken thoughts to word and pictures...there will be simple rules to this..

rule one...only post when at least very tipsy..drunk would be better..Crunk optimum..but anything past that level of intoxication would preclude any coherent musings in text..

rule two...posting times of original writings will only take place between the hours of 3am and 10am..except of course Sundays...not for any religious reasons, but i may be engaging in day drinking..

following these two simple rules, i will endeavor to pull together whatever crazy dingbat drunken shit is going on in my head after a typical night of drinking..and then after i will try and figure out what the hell i was thinking about...